(Lazaro has applied to court to sanction firing of some of his aides)
Court clerk: All silence! The court of his Lordship Judge Mbadwa is now in session.
Judge Mbadwa: This tribunal is today hearing an application from the leader of Tokha Alliance, his Excellency Lazaro. The court invites counsel for Lazaro Tito Mavalidwe to convince the court why Lazaro’s application should be entertained.
Mavalidwe: My Lord, I will go to the substantive issue of our application. It is the conviction of Lazaro that some people he hired are bent on damaging his reputation as a new broom that will sweep clean the dirt of corruption and inefficiency that had accumulated during the reign of Mapuya.
In this application, my lord, Lazaro wants this court to fire some aides his administration hired to manage the estates he inherited from Mapuya by virtue of being elected president of Nyasaland.
My lord, you have heard that some estate managers or aides allegedly sexed figures for whatsoever reasons in the procurement of goods and services, something Lazaro never sanctioned.
Yes, he has called for a probe into the allegations but he thinks the best option is to fire them before it is too late.
Why should they be fired by this court? Well Lazaro’s hands are tied because there is a legal advice that makes it difficult for a hiring authority to fire and hire at will as this has already cost taxpayers billions of kwacha and government cannot afford to lose more.
But Lazaro believes this court can be moved to fire people who have misinterpreted his servant leadership into servant thieving because it is only three months into his government, yet some aides are showing their true colours.
My client Lazaro believes he was hoodwinked into hiring these graduates of the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) School of theft and fraud. The aides have a PDP DNA which cannot be changed.
My lord, Lazaro cannot allow some people who are already captured by various people of influence to confine his presidency as well and let him dance to their sad tunes.
It is our opinion that the only way we can internalise the servant leadership philosophy is to have people who can walk the talk not servant thieves. I rest my case.
Mbadwa: It is strange that your client, Lazaro, is complaining now when he should have conducted due diligence in the hiring process to ensure that only those who can embrace the concept of true servant leadership find themselves close to him. We will adjourn this case till same time next week when we will make a preliminary ruling on whether the application can be entertained.
Clerk: All rise!