Let me start this note by declaring my position: I’m no sex addict.
My story is: I’ve been married to my very lovely wife for the past five years.
During the formative years of our marriage, we had what we’d call normal couple sex. At least once a week.
I didn’t have any complaints, believing, in my naivety, that she would grown into the groove of sexually providing for her man as time went on.
But that was not to be.
Actually, to my dismay, things have only gotten worse and I’ve been left wondering over many options, the most viable being to find someone to satisfy me sexually.
This is because me and my wife have reserved sex for baby-making, which as a man, is way below my demands and desires of the body.
However, before I jump over the bridge, I’ve decided to seek your counsel so that I’m assured that I’m being neither mean nor unfair to my dear wife, whom I love dearly.
My dear man,
I feel for you. I don’t think you’re being too harsh or unfair. A man has to find space to express themselves and I think you’ve made the right decision to seek my counsel. Time and again, the elders (or one of those old men with top much time on his hands and too many things on his mind) is quoted as having said that a problem shared is half solved.
So here goes my one penny worth of free advice (I don’t think that makes sense though).
But first, I have a confession to make: I love sex and I’m not ashamed.
Actually, those that say that sex is overrated are just not doing it right!
If you have sex the right way, you want to do it all day, everyday.
Which is why I think your wife has issues. And the sooner you two opened up to this, the better for the both of you and for your marriage.
While I do not want to go out of my way to play the blame game, I am inclined to conclude that you have problems too.
Firstly, if you gave your wife the sex of her, she’d beg you for it at any given opportunity. So my brother, check yourself before you start pointing fingers.
Secondly, these are issues that you should have sorted out during your courtship.
Surely, you did not just marry the woman without having tried her out during courtship?
And if you discovered that she had this disinterest during the courtship but went ahead to marry her, then whose problem is it?
Now you want me to condemn her? Do I look silly to you?
C’mon man, be fair to the whole lot of us.
This woman was never interested in sex from day one. What made you think she’d suddenly become a tigress in bed?
If sex is so much an important part of your love life, then you should have looked elsewhere right then.
Right now, stop whining and make the best with what you have. You went before God, the priest, the church and relatives, committing to love this woman to the end of times. We take you by your word.
Big Man Wamkulu