Dear BMW,
My workmate’s wife wants us to be together. She claims she likes me.
I have been meeting her at my friend’s home and at the office when she visits, but our recent meeting at an Easter party has pushed us closer together. My workmate brought the wife to our office party and since my buddy, a senior manager, was busy attending to invited guests, I took it upon myself to attend to her. We drank, ate and danced together the whole night.
My friend would come to join us once in a while and would encourage me to continue keeping her company. We got too drunk and when the hubby disappeared with someone I know at the office, we too went to steal kisses in my car.
Biggie, if I’m honest, it was a long time coming, as I’ve fancied my buddy’s wife for years and I was pretty sure she felt the same way about me. Since the Easter party, we’ve met a few times and slept together.
I’m not proud of betraying my mate, but the attraction between his wife and me is so strong—it’s like we’ve always been destined to be together. My buddy is a good guy and I’m fully aware of the consequences if he finds out.
But I am also in love, and when I fall in love I lose focus. Should I continue dating her or I tell my friend that his wife is cheating with me?
Please help!
UKM, via WhatsApp, Blantyre
Dearest UKM,
At first I wanted to agree that you must be lucky. I wanted to pat you on the back and say to you, ‘there are no barriers to love’. I wanted to tell you: ‘Go ahead and strike while the iron is still red’.
But no.
You are just a terrorist. Ndiwe wagulu la uchifwamba shuwa. This, my dear, is not love. You are, like a toddler, trying some pudding out of dust, going to be a damn loser.
How many workmates do you have? And you say it was over the Easter period that you found yourself head over heels in love with your superior’s woman and this is only June. I will tell you, by the time we will have a clear picture about the date for fresh presidential election, you shall have lost your head.
By losing your head, I mean it literally, not like getting mad, madly in love. No, I would say, you would have lost your limbs or whatever makes you think you are so macho to dare a colleague’s wife.
Akulu, mpira sitisewera pakhonde mudzaswa magalasi shuwa.
In your misery, you are going to heap a whole lot of charcoal on your bossom. You will be fired, once discovered. Your integrity is on the ropes and you will hang.
And, in case you are married, your wife will desert you for being unfaithful and jobless.
I will tell you, real cheaters are tight-rope walkers, but they never walk that rope in the backyard.
Zinazi kumangomezera malovu amwene!
Big Man Wamkulu
