Big Man Wamkulu

Should I dump my man?

Dear BMW,

My boyfriend of three years is a helpless flirt. Flirting, however, is the one aspect of his behaviour that I have gotten used to it.

About a week ago, however, I realised his flirting may have gone too far. As he was taking a shower, I went through his phone and among the many WhatsApp conversations I came across were two that captured my attention. One of them was with my best friend and another with one of his female workmates whom I know.

I didn’t find, in either conversation, evidence that he has improper relationships, sexually I mean, with either of them. However, the way he flirts with them showed that he has become dangerously close to the girls. For instance, he requested nude photos from my best friend; there is, however, no indication she granted or turned down his request, because, I suspect some part of the conversation was deleted on purpose.

I haven’t asked him about it because I know he will be dismissive of my queries as petty jealousy. But it still hurts that my man is seeking sensual pleasure from other places, not least my best friend. I am at wits end and I want to call it quits, Biggie. Should I walk away and leave him to his flirtatious behaviour?

Worried Becky

Dear Worried Becky

We are back to the quintessential case of people who go around searching for trouble and when they find it, they start blaming the very trouble they were searching for leading them into trouble.

My dear Worried Becky, I can conclude, just by what you have written, that you are consumed by jealous but you don’t want to admit it.

For what could you have been looking for in your man’s phone if not to catch him at his game? Curiosity, my dear Worried Becky, killed the cat and it appears it has just done in for you.

I can also conclude, just by what you have written, that you are unromantic.

For what were you doing flipping through his phone instead of joining him in the shower?

That said, however, encourage your boyfriend to lock his phone with a password at all times, even if he is temporarily away from it. Tell him it is such carelessness that leads to heartbreak and breaks-up of relationships. Such idiots as him do not deserve to be in any relationship because they are a hazard not only to themselves, but to others with whom they are in a relationship.

As for you my dear Worried Becky, never ever touch anyone’s phone again. That can lead to heartbreak and break-up of relationships.

I have spoken.

Big Man Wamkulu

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