Dear judge Mbadwa,
You can take a break from your hectic boring routine of listening to objections and subjecting yourself to the life of either sustaining or overruling them. There is life outside the courtroom after all.
Why am I derailing your train of thoughts at this time with this letter? My lord, you might have heard of the landmark development which the city of Kabula has just attained.
In case you were not kept in the loop; for the first time in over five decades since Nyasaland attained independence, I presided over the launch of an impeccable road network in Kabula—the one way traffic system.
It is one of the biggest milestones in the history of the city that could not go without fanfare and I had to be available to launch this first of its kind system in the country.
The Kabula City’s Engineering Department invested a lot of thought, skill and money—under my wise and dynamic leadership of course— to come up with the one-way traffic system to decongest the city of Kabula of the rickety and dilapidated vehicles.
But this idea originated with me not Expensive Handshake and his team alone. NO!
The launch of the system is testimony that this government has improved the road network in the city; hence, it is not strange that we been experiencing traffic jams as motorists are smoothly driving on the roads to the central business district (CBD) of the city.
My lord, you know every available land has been taken by beautiful streets we have built; hence as we wait to introduce flyover roads in the city, we want to give motorists, who like to appreciate the works of our hands in the streets, an opportunity to speedily enjoy the driving without being impeded by oncoming traffic.
You never know we will soon host our own version of Formula One in the cleared streets.
For the short period I have been at the helm of the ministry responsible for city councils, we are witnessing unprecedented development taking place in cities.
Vendors have been chased from the markets into the streets and have been allowed to ply their trade in verandas of shops and offices. We have no problem on where one would display their wares as long as they are paying market fees.
In short, we have established markets everywhere in the city so that people should not walk long distances to get items they want
But my lord, I don’t understand why people are saying I should not have wasted my precious time to launch this system but I should have instead let traffic officers to start directing traffic where it should go? Isn’t this tantamount to insulting a public official?
My lord, why are some detractors saying there is no new system but redirection of traffic when we have invested a lot of money in this system?
Why shouldn’t I instruct my lawyer to sue these pro-opposition groups for defamation?
Yours True citizen,
Benteke wa kuKabula