So, we still assume men know better?
The idea of counselling young people before they walk down the aisle has been widely accepted as a norm in most societies in the country, although such counselling is still largely targeted at the bride.
Families either organise bridal showers or a small counselling session where the bride is tutored on how to effectively play the role of a wife once she gets married to her fiancé. Rarely do we see similar sessions being organised for bridegrooms, except in cases where a send-off is arranged for the two.
Whether the counsel does help the bride or the groom is not the question I intend to tackle today. Rather, it is the idea of advising only the bride when the bridegroom is an equal and sometimes worse armature in marriage issues.
With modernism and a greater realisation that men and women are equal partners, one expected that society would have, by now, changed its mindset and phased out bridal showers to embrace send-offs which provide a platform where both the bride and bridegroom are exposed to marriage counsel before they exchange marriage vows.
If society thinks that a woman who is entering into a marriage needs to be taught how to effectively communicate with her husband, why not the new husband? Does he not need communication skills as well; bearing in mind that communication is a two-way process?
If a woman is offered grooming tips because she is soon to share her life with a male partner, to avoid putting him off with offensive smell and everything that comes with poor hygiene, doesn’t the partner need similar advice so that he doesn’t become a burden to the woman?
And speaking of grooming, women generally take better care of their bodies and frequent the bathroom unlike the men folk who commonly struggle with bathing issues. Some of them easily go to bed after a session at the gym without even thinking of bathing.
If we were to randomly check men and women’s armpits, for example, we are likely to find out that most women’s underarms are well taken care of than those of men. And yet, grooming advice is heaped on the woman and not the man who usually takes less care of his body.
I don’t know who started this idea of zeroing on women on marriage counselling, or why they did that. But it is obviously a wrong practice.
Newly-weds are both rookies in need of guidance to make their marriage work. Piling advice on one party doesn’t help the marriage because the two players need to contribute equally to the success of the marriage.
This is why in this day and age, a send-off, which caters for both the bride and groom, are a better option if marriages are to be successful.
