ood people, entertainment reporting never ceases bombarding us with euphemisms and half-truths.
Many are days artists are quoted as promising “fireworks” ahead of shows that end up being marked by flickers and smoke of smouldering tobacco cigarettes and illegal herbs instead of stage lights and mesmeric performances the expression entails.
Equally funny is the news about some “fun-starved city”—the mantra for Mzuzu—when the fun-starved is actually the reporters with no nose to sniff the corners where the fun is.
And the reporters of everything entertaining and creative in our midst sometimes portray inept artists doing “what they know best” when the referent actually did not seem to know anything really.
In showbiz news, curtain-raisers keep “stealing the show” from the headliners, but those with no respect for clichés know the shows continue as planned and they get a blast.
It is not hidden from the dumb that taking idioms in their literal sense is dim-witted. They always convey deeper meanings.
But what hides in plain sight is that arts journalists are increasingly clinching expressions that were already trite before Charles Dickens was born.
It is numbing and nothing more uncreative than overrated subjects of their reporting. It must be frowned upon in this world of creativity.
But one esteemed reporter, desperate to break the legacy of stale expressions, got really creative and told the world what can only be hyperbolic.
Youthful artists shut down Machinjiri!
The exclamation mark is mine, but the rest was a headline in The Nation on Wednesday.
But Machinjiri did not come to a standstill on Sunday.
The only place that closed its doors was Mudzi Motel which was overcrowded with youthful music lovers jostling to watch Tsar, Leo Charisma, Toast, Kelvin Sings, Chavura and other emerging stars in a concert.
Say your wows!
I withhold mine for now.
This is the page that will never say all roads led to Machinjiri on Sunday when some led to Muloza in Mulanje, Zalewa in Mwanza and Mbeya in Tanzania.
This page will never be wowed to say the sprawling township came to a halt when a road which passes by the gates of the venue at Khama Trading Centre, where the urban music starts were, was open.
Similarly, many roads, homes, shops, pubs and other places where people nest were unclosed.
The few things that were closed that day included ears and homes of people living near the venue at the heart of a high-density residential area.
All residents who closed their ears, wishing there was silence in the air, spectacularly show movers and shakers in the showbiz industry everything wrong about holding public entertainment events in residential areas.
Noise pollution is the reason Area 3 residents in Lilongwe recently petitioned the city council in the capital to stop Lilongwe Golf Club from holding shows beyond 5pm.
In their massif, they disclosed being sick and tired of enduring sleepless nights due to ear-splitting sounds emanating from gigantic loud speakers in the golf course.
Mudzi Motel must learn from this as it plans to host more artists likely to bring more din and mayhem to the settlement which is safer left alone.
City councils have the mandate to enforce the dos and don’ts that guide public entertainment and the well-being of city dwellers.
Blantyre City Council’s job includes combating the explosion of loud entertainment activities and places in residential areas.
Someone must stop this noise before the noisemakers shut down another township.n