Stress and your love life…
Nearly everyone has times when stress builds up, whether from specific things or just from life in general, to the point where they feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Sometimes if not taken care of it can affect your relationship with your children, partner or even friends. Dumase Zgambo-Mapemba explores the issue.
The first few days or months of change in somebody’s life may be the hardest time to find balance. For instance, for a couple who have a new baby, the excitement that they have may soon be overshadowed by the stress of having this little one around. It is worse if the baby keeps you awake all night and you are expected to be at the office all day.
For those that have got a new job they may be overwhelmed with the new responsibilities and may be stressed out easily and unable to find time to be with family or friends or simply to maintain their lifestyle.
Change that will enhance your career direction is good. But if you are unable to balance your family life and work or business is there a way of finding balance?
What about your love life? Is it suffering because of your stress? Sometimes stress cannot be avoided but can be managed. Research has shown that work stress is linked to unhappiness in marriage.
Don’t be a workaholic by choosing to stay connected through cell phones, emails and other technology. This can cause your partner to feel lonely and will hurt your relationship.
It’s important to understand how stressful events affect your marriage. Since you can’t avoid it, you have to be able to recognize and manage it.
Putting these steps into action is not that easy. But as I have said before relationship is work in progress. Our goal should strive to make everything about us work no matter the obstacles. Here are a few tips, some of which I got from TwoOfUs.org.
Find the source of stress
Stress may not be in black and white. But knowing what is stressing you out is a good start.
Talk to your partner
Bear in mind that your partner may not think you have any reason to be stressed. Help him/her understand why you are. Your partner can give you a different point of view and together you can brainstorm ways to solve the issue that is causing your stress.
Communication also keeps one partner from feeling lonely, builds trust, shows commitment and can release the heavy burdens that you are feeling. Be kind, caring and show affection
Stay connected
Sometimes couples spend more time talking with their friends than their spouses about issues because they feel their partner might not understand them. Turning away from your partner during stressful events can be one of the most damaging behaviors in a relationship. This can lead to feelings of rejection. Silence leads to greater frustration and increased anger, which can drive the two of you apart
Maintain intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of any successful marriage. While many people think intimacy pertains only to sex, it is much more than that. Being intimate with your partner means that you reveal your thoughts and your feelings (even though it may be embarrassing to do so), demonstrate affection, and work together to solve problems. By being open and honest we develop emotional intimacy. When we are stressed this is especially important. Intimacy gives your partner a chance to support you and in return, you are more likely to support them when they are stressed.
Find balance
Parents can feel like keeping up with each family member’s schedule is a full time job. Scheduling the children’s activities and taking them to practices, games, recitals and events can get to be too much. To avoid family burn-out keep an eye out for signs of stress and cut back on activities as needed.
Try to be aware of you and your partner’s emotions every day. Change the things in your life, or in your relationship, that you can control and accept the things that you cannot change.
