The auto-teller machine

Drinking is becoming less interesting in this cold weather. Because of the bad weather, many people prefer to stay indoors.
Spending the whole day at home is unheard of for most men and when it happens, it is the worst part in life. This is because they always feel hungry. And when they ask for food, they get this response: “That is how we feel when we are here, always hungry.”
Then the noise from the kitchen will be a nuisance; pots being thrown away and cups broken. When you enquire, you get the response: “Don’t you have somewhere to go? These things happen always and I wonder why it is a fuss to you.”
That is what happened to Chief Kazingist last week, when he decided to spend the whole day at his Namiyango base in Blantyre.
As he was pondering the next move, he got a call from a strange number.
“I am Gift, your friend from Lilongwe. I am here in Blantyre. Can we meet?” said a female voice.
Chief Kazingist remembered the lady. This other day, he wanted to talk to a good friend in Salima. He mistakenly dialled a wrong number, which was answered by a lady. Although, the chief man of the skirt apologised for wrongly calling her, the lady initiated a talk.
“That is no problem. Mwina ndi Ambuye amene apangitsa kuti tilankhulane,” she responded. Chief Kazingist wondered why the Lord is mentioned even on silly issues.
She said she was Gift from Lilongwe and would like to meet him. After a long discussion, they agreed that Gift should come to Blantyre as Chief Kazingist would be busy that weekend.  And she came to Blantyre on the agreed date.
“Will you please come to the bus stage at Wenela? It’s urgent,” pleaded Gift.
“I am on my way,” replied Chief Kazingist. He had never met the lady before so it took time to recognise her.
The grade of a girl is known by her appearance. One could easily tell whether she is cheap, moderate or very expensive. Gift looked very expensive. However, Chief Kazingist did not want to show any fear.
“I did not pay the transport fare from Lilongwe. Will you pay?” Gift asked. Chief Kazingist had K3 500 in his pocket which he paid.
“I have not eaten since early in the morning and I am very hungry. Will you take me to a restaurant to eat?” Asked Gift.
Chief Kazingist asked to go to the bank to take the money since he had nothing. The lady agreed. When they reached the bank, both the auto-teller machines were down.
“We have to wait until they start functioning,” suggested Chief Kazingist.
“Wait? I am very hungry and I cannot wait for that. That (auto-teller machine) is not my problem. I need the money now or else…,” warned Gift.
Chief Kazingist almost fainted. n