EveryWoman

The bachelor next door

Helping a neighbour is part of our Malawian culture. These include sharing salt or the use of a knife. Such assistance results in good friendships.
But what happens when the neighbour is single? Should they only seek help from their kind?
Helping each other is still inevitable because being neighbours practically means relying on each other.
For this reason, interaction between a bachelor and a married woman is inevitable.

Should neighbours of the opposite sex help each other?
Should neighbours of the opposite sex help each other?

Therefore, one wonders whether it is right for the married woman to help and interact with the bachelor next door.
“There is nothing wrong with that. Despite their situation, they should help each other because it would not mean that the married woman is cheating on her husband,” says Cecelia Kakwesa of Chirimba Township in Blantyre.
Many husbands become jealous when they spot their wives chatting or attending to the bachelor next door.
For Davie Dennis from Lilongwe, living door to a bachelor when you have a wife is dangerous.
“That’s risky. The friendship between one’s wife and the bachelor next door can mature into a love affair. As a married man, I can’t live next door to a bachelor otherwise my wife will be in ‘danger’,” says Dennis.
Southern Region chairperson for the Chewa Heritage Foundation (Chefo) Dyson Gonthi says there is nothing wrong for a couple to live next to a bachelor.
However, Gonthi is quick to point out that it is wrong for a married woman to assist and chat with a bachelor.
“This is not acceptable culturally because it is a source of many marital problems. When the husband discovers this, he will be angry, jealous and suspicious. Furthermore, it is easy for the married woman to fall in love with that bachelor if they chat and help each other regularly. This should be avoided,” warns Gonthi. 

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