The educated coordinator

For a week, Chief Kazingist has been receiving messages from a lady. He tried to ignore them but changed his mind after noticing that what she was writing was making sense.

She wrote about the floods, the country’s economic situation and even the presidential candidate in the United States of America, whom she described as mad.

Last week, she talked about homosexuality. According to her, she would never indulge in the practice but wouldn’t care what they do in their privacy.

“But faith leaders are vocal about homosexuality, calling it a grave sin,” reminded her Chief Kazingist.

“These are funny characters. They were quiet all along but when it comes to homosexuality, then they quote the Bible. Tell them to criminalise adultery and see how they will oppose to it because most of them are players. Forget about these hypocrites who are saints during the day but criminals at night,” she said.

“By the way, where are you based?” Chief Kazingist asked.

“I am not through with the homosexuality debate. This man says we should kill homosexuals. Why do we have a commandment which prohibits murder? Where is the ‘love your neighbour rule?’ This is what your pastors should be talking about,” she said.

After speaking for a long time, she turned to my question. She told me that she was staying in Ntcheu.

“Which part of Ntcheu?” Chief Kazingist asked.

“Just know that I stay in Ntcheu. Does it matter?” She asked again.

“Yes, it matters. You could come from the second most powerful man in the country, the Vice President,” said the chief man of the skirt.

Then her phone went off, either because it had run out of airtime or power.

On Thursday the lady called. She said she wanted to meet Chief Kazingist the following day.

“I suggest that you come here in Ntcheu tomorrow. At what time do you think you will be here so that I can wait for you at Nsipe?” She asked.

“I should be there by three o’clock in the afternoon,” said Chief Kazingist.

“Which three o’clock? The British one or the Malawian one?” She asked.

“Madam, there is only one three o’clock,” the chief man of the skirt said.

The following morning, Chief Kazingist left his Namiyango base at eight o’clock in the morning. But after reaching Chilimba, his vehicle developed a fault. Knowing that it would take time to correct it, he decided to catch a bus at Wenela.

It was another problem because the bus took three hours to depart for Lilongwe. After Manjawira, the police stopped it because it was over speeding.

When he reached Nsipe, the time was 10 minutes after three. He called the lady.

“I was there until 3 o’clock and I left after that. Follow British time,” she said and cut the line. n