Soul

The engagement period

This is a time for exploring common interests, learning to accept differences in upbringing and establishing common goals.

It is a good idea for engaged couples to have the chance of spending some time in each other’s homes before they actually get married. This is the best preparation in the world for coping with individual patterns of behaviour. A girl who grew up in a city has of course had a completely different training in household management from the girl in a village. The boy who has never been required to do anything around the house makes one kind of husband and the boy who was accustomed to doing all household chores makes another. It is a good idea to discover what your prospective mate is used to before you settle down to live together under the same roof. It saves much heartache to be prepared for behaviour which may be quite different from your own pattern of living.

Long engagements put a severe strain on young people and six months to a year should be the maximum for an engagement period. However, the engagement should be long enough to give the boy and girl time to test each other and work through matters of finance, family planning, education and work goals. Most importantly, the engagement period should be a time when the couple learns to communicate and develop the habit of communicating with each other.

They should be able to talk freely about what is troubling them and seek outside help if they need it. During this preliminary stage, the roots of a healthy marriage are established. If the premarital stage has been constructively handled, the marriage is off to a good start.

Pray about everything, instead of worrying, Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanks giving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

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