Like always, the minibus to my gutter home on Sunday was a platform for unending debate on topics based on cheap rumour, misunderstandings or impromptu signals.
It so happened we passed a convoy of Nyasa Bullets faithful loaded in minibuses and tricycles, making a triumphant exit out of Lilongwe where they were officially crowned 2014/2015 champions.
Naturally, Bullets supporters within our minibus touted their luck in landing a K500 million sponsorship deal off the pockets of the cigarette company, Nyasa Cigarette Manufacturers.
Rival supporters advanced a perceived immorality of ‘promoting’ smoking through football. Opinions traded barbs and sparks.
Some ‘well-informed’ lady in our mini bus thought she new why the sponsors settled for Bullets:
“Ndipo mwangopeza siponsa chifukwa masapota ambiri a Bullets mumasuta fodya kwambiri mokuti siponsa wadziwa kuti apha makwacha.”
Then it was another guy in the front seat: “komanso paja ku Bullets kuli Yamikani Fodya, choncho zangogwirizana.”
There had to be a reply from the Bullets faithful and it was from the man sitting next to me: “Zimenezo ndiye za fodya mukunenazo nonsenu!”
Coincidentally, he smelled of tobacco.
“Za fodya osati n’zimene akuti amuna mukumakisana ku Mangochizi achimwene? Ndipo Lucius anachita bwino kunyanyala kuimba! Akadzaona a kashigeti, andale kapena ena abodza mchigulu chovina adzasiyenso kuimba!” that lady maintained steam.
I wished the minibus hurried on. But then the ramshackle choked to a stop. It had run out of gasoline. It happens in Malawi.
We waited for the conductor to make it to the nearest gas station and back.
“Bwanji osangotibwezera zathu tikwere ina?” Asked one passenger, to the retort of the driver.
“Anzanu aberedwa masauzande ku zoimbaimba n’kuchoka akulilira m’mimba, inu muchite phokoso ndi K200?” n