Dear judge Mbadwa,
Surely a well-run race will never be called a race if it does not come to an end. It had to reach this far inevitably. How I wish your court had ordered that the campaign period be extended, perhaps by another 24 hours, to enable the desperate candidates to reach to some confused (and not undecided) voters because we have all made our choices already, My Lord.
But hey, what a campaign it was!
The two alliance camps have crisscrossed the country dragging with them, from pillar to post, their expensive campaign paraphernalia.
My Lord, Nyasas have been sold truths, half truths and complete hogwash on political podiums.
Most of our wardrobes are full of party cloth and T-shirts, we will interchangeably wear on a dry fashion day or in our gardens, assuming it is the colour of the team that will go down with the fresh elections after June 23.
Billions of kwacha was spent wooing Nyasas to toe their party lines. My Lord, we never asked where they got the money from, being unsophisticated citizens we are, but we clapped hands anyway. As long as it was our preferred candidates displaying such obscene opulence, we saw no evil, we didn’t hear any evil and why could we speak such evil on campaign financing?
In fact , the convoys and the vehicles of the advance party of our political candidates were all running on water other than fuel. It was such bizarre provision that could not be quantified in monetary terms.
All we cared about was that our candidates should amass as much support as possible to lead us to paradise on Tuesday.
We know these vultures are waiting on the wings to pounce on what is left of Nyasaland when the candidate will assume the role of puppets that have to dance to the sad tunes of these ‘godfather.’
My Lord, now that the politicians have fought a good fight and have run a good race, I thought it would be prudent to let them know that the country’s economy remain in shambles, meaning whoever wins Tuesday’s elections have their job cut.
We will not remind everyone how the Nyasaland health delivery system is almost non-functional because it is all there is.
My Lord, as the grumbling and jubilation is being set in motion, something you ably handle, may I take this opportunity to wish all candidates the best on June 23.
You made my job easier and interesting with your campaign and all that jazz.
My Lord, don’t they all deserve some credit for giving each other a good run for their borrowed or stolen money?
I just wanted to greet you today as an ordinary citizen, My Lord.
May the best candidate win.
With Emmanuel Luciano
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