Thoughts about the ‘breathing’ Chief Justice

Americans are an interesting lot, not the least the way they choose to be called/known. Take former president Bill Clinton, for example. Yes, you know him as Bill Clinton. He comes here to Malawi as Bill Clinton to supervise work of the Clinton Health Access Initiative. But if you are an immigration officer at Kamuzu International Airport waiting to stamp the former president’s passport on one of his visits to Malawi, you will not be presented with “Bill Clinton’s” book. It will read: William Jefferson Clinton. For that is the name of the 42nd President of the United States.

American Presidents do not often travel to Africa. For President Obama, his recent Africa travels have taken him to Ethiopia, Ghana, Kenya, Senegal, Tanzania, and South Africa. By American standards, he is among the most travelled American Presidents. Now, my point is that while no sitting President of the United States has ever visited Malawi (we have had former presidents Jimmy Carter and Clinton), guess what, we have hosted the 44th Vice-President of the United States in the name of Mr James Danforth Quayle, aka Dan Quayle, in 1991. While Quayle came to Malawi to “ignite” the flame for democracy, the Kamuzu Banda regime used the event to drum up public relations that the Malawi Congress Party (MCP) was doing a great job. “Even the Americans are recognising how democratic we are!” Quayle had breakfast with John Tembo whom the Americans believed was going to succeed Kamuzu. So it was imperative for them to start making contacts with the future president of the Republic of Malawi.

Now, if you were the 46th Vice-President of the United States, your real name on the passport will not be Dick Cheney. This is because you are Richard Bruce Cheney. Richard is too long for the Americans. So while vice-president Cheney will have his Richard and Bruce on his passport, he is aka ‘Dick’.

Let us come to the subject of this article. In my primary school days, we were given opportunity to translate a Chichewa passage into English and an English passage into Chichewa. Those were the days primary school teachers enjoyed their jobs. They may still be enjoying what they do now, but I have nowhere to know. So words such as “a Tchifi Jasitisi opuma” could have easily been translated into ‘the breathing Chief Justice’ and ‘re-tired Chief Justice’ as ‘a Tchifi Jasitisi otopanso kachiwiri’.

Now, the “breathing Chief Justice Richard Banda (the Americans would have referred to him as Dick Banda) is reported to have written the diplomatic community suggesting that the life of his hubby is at risk. At risk from the government of Malawi. But the response of the diplomats is what makes the whole incident laughable. The Europeans are calling the issue “an internal matter to Malawi”, meaning “we don’t believe what you are saying Dick”. If the whiteman thought this was important, he would have said: “Malawi has international obligations to provide security to all its citizens. We urge the government of Malawi not to renegade on this responsibility.” I do not know what Dick will then do?