Time for female bonding
Sisters have been getting a bad reputation for ages and it seems this is nowhere near subsiding.
Sure, I am aware of the fact that some women work behind the scenes to bring others down. However, I really didn’t give this much thought until lately, when articles in True Love magazine and an interview with one of the country’s affluent women pointed it out. She said, and I quote; ‘Behind every problem that a woman has, there is a woman behind it, fighting her, trying to bring her down.’
She pointed out how lovely it would be if women actually shared ideas and knowledge on a basis of sincerity and harmony.
Writer, performer and poet Lebo Mashile tweeted on the issue recently. She was looking for answers; why do women do it? As yet, none have been found.
It is unfortunate that, instead of working together to help raise each other, women might choose to be vicious (a bit much, I know, but some sisters are downright cruel!) towards one another.
Let’s start with something as simple as a relationship. A lot of people have pointed out that sisters-in-law are much harder to get along with, or please than brothers-in-law. If you are married to or dating a man, his brothers and father will accept you as you are, imperfections and all, with no issues whatsoever.
They will joke with you and call you mlamu from the word go. If you are a good person, they will have no qualms about pointing that out. Sisters and mothers, however, are a totally different story. Some, not all, are almost always suspicious of you. They want to let him know that you are not good enough for him. There might be some sort of tension because they are wary of you until you win their loyalty.
Exit the home and enter the workplace. A lot of women complain that female bosses are much harder on female employees than their male counterparts. According to True Love, they tend to be overly emotional and unfair. They unload the burden of their home stresses on their juniors. Equally, female employees tend to resent their female bosses and question their authority. They gang up against her and make up stories of her employing bottom power in order to get certain perks. It’s a lose-lose situation, or so it seems!
When was your last experience with someone in the service industry or public service? Out of the females and the males that served you, which sex was more courteous?
Just this morning, my mother and I were stopped by a male traffic officer; a cheerful fellow who asked to see my mum’s licence then shared a few jokes with us. How many female traffic officers would do the same with a motorist of the same sex?
When it comes to friendships, with some women, you’ve just got to keep your eyes wide open because one minute she might be your best friend and the next she will be in bed with your man. Or sending a long email to everyone in the country that exposes your secrets and scandals. Unfortunately, we have gotten a bad reputation for gossiping and for stabbing friends in the back.
Sadly, this does not apply to all women. Further, it veils the fact that there are a lot of strong, pure-hearted sisters out there who make loyal friends. Because of this ill repute, people fail to recognise that, as women, there is so much we share and that we often have a bond no one can touch or understand. When based on mutual understanding, similar goals, love and respect, female friendships are the richest in the world.
Rosjke Hasseldine, author of The Silent Female Scream and a psychotherapist specialising in women points out that for women to flourish, we need to band together. We need to re-create the sense of female connection we once had during biblical days around the village well and in the Red Tent where women gathered, shared stories, supported each other, and passed on their female wisdom.
Ladies, it’s time we put up a united front and showed the world, starting with the woman nearest to you, how beautiful we truly are, both inside and out!
