Many times, a woman just worries that the timing is just all wrong! Maybe you just moved. Maybe your career is just taking off. Maybe you are having marital or other relationship problems. And in this economy, the prospect of having another mouth to feed or being out on maternity leave a very frightening and stressful concept.
Other moms, who already had children, just considered themselves â€œdoneâ€ and put the thought of crying babies, late night feedings, and diaper Genies completely out of their minds. Either way, you didnâ€™t see this one coming!
Perhaps your biggest anxiety is your spouseâ€™s response. He may not be so excited about your pregnancy right now. A manâ€™s anxiety about fatherhood often stems from financial concerns and worries over how he will provide.
He may even blame you and/or resent you. Do not let him play the blame game. It still takes two to make a baby so there is a shared responsibility. Take responsibility for your actions and ask him to do the same, remembering that finger pointing and wallowing in guilt are not going to change anything.
Get angry its fine
Give yourself permission to be upset about the pregnancy. It will be easier to get over it once you admit that to yourself. â€œAnger and shock could be something youâ€™re feeling, and thatâ€™s perfectly fine to feel that way. Donâ€™t feel guilty about your negative feelings,â€ says clinical psychologist Shoshana Bennett, PhD, who specialises in womenâ€™s health and postpartum depression. â€œItâ€™s normal and healthy to allow yourself to feel this.â€
Your partner says heâ€™s not ready to be a dad
Donâ€™t try to change his mind. Listen to him. He might just need some time to accept it. â€œYou canâ€™t control his emotions, but you can be supportive,â€ says Bennett. â€œFind out where your partnerâ€™s negativity is coming from and talk it out with him. Work through your concerns together because this is the time to build your relationship. And most important, donâ€™t take it personally that they arenâ€™t excited or happy.â€
Evaluate immediate needs
While it is perfectly natural to experience stages of denial or turmoil during your pregnancy, it is vital that you take the necessary steps to care for both yourself and the child you are carrying as soon as possible. The first step on your to-do list after discovering you are pregnant is to visit a doctor. Use this new experience as an opportunity to improve your health.
Donâ€™t give up on your dreams
Sit down with your partner and make a plan together about how youâ€™ll handle all the changes once baby arrives. And donâ€™t be afraid to ask for help. â€œWhatâ€™s really important is to keep telling yourself that you will find resources to make sure that all of your kids are cared for and that you will be able to achieve your career goals,â€ says Bennett.
Count your blessings
Reality check girlfriend! Think of the millions of women out there who are desperately trying to conceive. They spend thousands of money on fertility treatments or climb mountains with prayer and fasting in search of a baby to call their own. Consider yourself blessed to have conceived.â€”Www.thebump.co