Dear BMW,
I am a 32-year-old married man with two kids. My wife, a Form One drop out, is five years my junior. During courtship and first four years of our marriage, she was sweet and obedient. She has been a stay at home for two years now and had little to do other than watch Telemundo all day long.
So, as carried away as I was with her charm, beauty and love, I decided to empower her by sourcing funds so that she could start a small business. Ooh! What a mistake I made. Within two years, her businesses flourished and she has been making more money than I can make in a year. She has bought land, a car, a house and other assets.
In a blink of an eye, my wife has become ruthless with me. She has totally turned out to be a monster to the maid and our workers. She even cares less about me. She has become so disobedient and arrogant such that every time I advise her on something she becomes wild, violent and goes mute for two to three days.
When it comes to sex, I can’t remember the last day I removed her knickers. But because I love her I do not have any intentions to cheat on her, but as you can imagine Biggy, a man is a hot iron, sometimes he needs some to cool down.
So, here I am kneeling before your court. Do all women from poor backgrounds behave like this when they have been empowered or my wife is in a class of her own?
Should we part ways or she will come back to her senses when she gets used to having more wealth?
Gile via WhatsApp, Lilongwe
Gile,
I feel for you my brother. I do!
Like I always say, I have seen better days. Today, I will tell you, I have seen worse days. You are seeing worse days. Like they say, this too shall pass away.
Now, get this right Gile (Is that a Chewalisation of Grace?), breaking up is for kids. Adults like you, at 32 and 27, should not even think of breaking up. Just give each other a break.
Simply put, give her a break. She deserves that break. She needs it.
What has happened that she should overtake you in wealth that you should a mere fraction of what you get? It would appear you were sitting on your laurels that you managed to get a village girl, gave her a small business which has grown to stinking heights.
If you ask me, there may be some things that you have not talked about. It could be you are that kind of man who always tries everything to get your fingers into your wife’s pie.
I have never been literal.
But, the thing is. There are many a man who try to get their wives’ wealth and spend it on booze and other women. Do you think any sane woman can smile at that?
I can give you the benefit of the doubt that you are harmless as a dove in this case. What, then, has really made her make the turn to a monster? Who are her friends?
If you ask me, are all women like this? I will tell you no. She is one of a kind. Which is why I will repeat, give her a break. Don’t break up. Very soon, she will be saying the kids want to see you.
If, like other men, you want to go to the courts, I will tell you to ask for alimony. Zisamakomere galu kugunda mbuzi. Any judge worse his thought will obviously ask her to maintain you when you part ways.
