Weddings should spend within limits

October is ‘Breast Cancer Awareness Month’. Everywoman supports every cause towards eradicating, treating, resource and capacity building in fighting the disease which continues to ravish both men and women all over the world. We, especially, dedicate this month’s editions towards this awareness and this goes out to the many women and families struggling with the disease at its every stage because unlike men, women are the most susceptible. We salute all those fallen women who succumbed to breast cancer as we come to the realisation that their deaths were not in vain, but a step towards winning the battle.

Now, October is also one month synonymous with weddings. A weekend hardly passes without the pomp that sometimes distracts traffic along our highways and roundabouts as newlyweds force their attention on people who don’t really care. The fleet of fancy, hooting cars with flashing lights and made all over are all too good to be true for the bride and groom, especially brides who dream of a fairy tale wedding. Who doesn’t love good things?

And with so much comparison, competition and an attempt at a ravishing event, couples go too far sometimes to stretch meager budgets for the sake of a wedding to remember. Their hope for shortfalls usually lies in the goodwill of guests who are perpetually bombarded with perekani perekani, to the extent of auctioning food meant to fete them.

There will be huge sums on the budget list for the disc jockey (DJ), master of ceremonies (MC), decorator, venue, food and drinks without the availability of funds, but dependent on the attendance of guests and their generosity. While it has been tradition for the newlyweds to be showered with gifts, cash or otherwise, I find it absurd and a lack of integrity, leaning more towards professional idiocy for anyone to bloat a budget based on someone’s pocket. Why assume that the guests have enough to supplement a handicapped budget only to reel from the consequences later?

Those alms from guests should not be overestimated to force couples into debts they cannot offset in the end. When people don’t give according to expectations, the results can be disastrous.

I know of a couple that fled its marital home soon after a lavishing event because of failure to pay individuals for services rendered. They got tired of giving excuses after the perekani-perekani collections failed to sum up the loan. They became prisoners of their own making and their supposed marital bliss turned messy.

I say, stick to a modest budget and simplicity in situations where affordability is a big challenge. The God that unites couples doesn’t mind how much one has, but appreciates couples entrusting themselves to Him through holy matrimony. What is the use of getting into debts we cannot afford to repay? Are we really to force our guests to cough more than they, too, can afford? I will not be surprised one of these days to see guests locked up at a venue by a maddened couple over ‘failure’ to cough enough towards their financial rescue. n