Were these presidential tears Mr. President?
The real title of this article should have referred to “crocodile tears” and not presidential tears. In the English language, there is nothing called “presidential tears” but there are “crocodile tears”. The dictionary that I have defines crocodile tears thus: “To pretend a sorrow that one doesn’t in fact feel, to create a hypocritical show of emotion”. The idea comes from the ancient belief that crocodiles weep while luring or devouring their prey. Now, I would want to adapt the same definition to what I call “presidential tears” i.e., to pretend a sorrow or concern that one doesn’t in fact feel, to create a hypocritical show of emotion or concern. That is what presidential tears should mean.
How did I come up with the term “presidential tears” and define it the same way as crocodile tears? When I listened to President Peter Mutharika’s State of the Nation address, I felt like the president is fast behaving presidential. That is how a president must behave. They have a huge task of guiding this ship MV Malawi, aka Bonyaland. Remember the speeches Joyce Banda ( JB) made when she became president of this country? She would on one hand mourn the passing of President Bingu wa Mutharika and appear to feel sad about it. In the next sentence or minute, she would suggest also that God had answered the prayers of this nation and that the time she was president had been pre-ordained by God to be the time of breakthrough. If she felt some wrong had been done or experience in the death of Bingu, how come she would also turn to suggest that a good thing happened?
Now let me turn to Mutharika, who is now our leader. He says he was concerned that women performed badly in the May Tripartite Elections. His speech on this matter seems to suggest that the president would have loved if females (in the spirit of gender equality) did much better. You may now be asking where then is the issue of “crocodile tears”? Good question. If women had done much better than they did and, one of the two women (JB or Hellen Singh) won the presidency, how else would have Peter become the State President. President Mutharika is now our president because a female did not win the election. So, there is no need to be apologetic but, the president knows saying he was glad no woman won the race will attract the wrath of the people. Similarly, I believe the president is happy with the men in the National Assembly although he says he would have loved more females. “What about us?” The male MPs are asking. “Would you have loved if there were more women and some of lost the race?” No, no no. The president was just saying two opposite things that people always want to hear. These things cannot be translated literary. The president will never harbour the wish that a female should have won the presidency other than himself. A man.
