What you can learn from the men in your life

Believe it or not, there are a few manly virtues worth swiping. This Oprah magazine article, written by Amy Finerty, outlines a few of the things we could learn from men.

The Will to Win

Robin Roberts, co-anchor of Good Morning America and former ESPN anchor-reporter

Women are supposedly better at collaborating than men, but from my experience, men are the ones who really understand teamwork. A lot of them played organised team sports when they were growing up and they learned how to set common goals and work toward them together, which translates well to the business world… Some who are very successful aren’t even that bright—they just know how to surround themselves with the best team and how to delegate.

From team sports, men also learn that it’s all right to get angry at each other—women should take a lesson from them…Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. We hold one another down by worrying more about the individual than the team and the goal of winning.

Thick Skin

Deborah Tannen, author and Georgetown University linguistics professor

Women could learn from men not to take criticism so personally, especially in work situations but also in personal situations. Women tend to think that if you like a person, you express agreement with them. Men often use something I call agonism—ritualised opposition…We should be more receptive to this perspective.

Cockiness

Jayshree Ullal, CEO and president of Arista Networks

In business, women should learn from their male counterparts and emulate their confidence and logical thought processes. If not, women are likely to be perceived as emotional and tentative. I’m reminded of my childhood, when the girls and boys shared a school bus. After a big exam, the girls would be worried and concerned about their performance while the boys would brag about how well they did. Yet when the results came, the girls would outscore the boys.

Entitlement

Tamela Edwards, Action News Philadelphia anchor and former journalist for Time magazine

From an early age, boys tend to speak out, without letting a fear of mistakes hold them back while girls often hide their intelligence. Then, in the adult world, the accepted norm is that men are aggressive with their opinions. Even if their ideas are belittled, they’ll rally back. They also carry themselves with an air of expectation—a sense that they have worthy contributions and should be mentored and appreciated. This certainly is a behaviour that women would be smart to emulate. People pick up on how you feel about yourself, and if you have an air that suggests they should take interest, they will.

Stoicism

Katy Sparks, professional chef and author of Sparks in the Kitchen

One way that I adopt a male attitude is by shelving a lot of feelings while I’m in the kitchen…

What I’ve learned from men is to keep disturbing emotions away from the workplace. I don’t share my trepidation if I feel it at work. I’ll wait and go home and share it with my husband. And I try to keep my sense of humour intact, which is very male.

Crying is more natural for women—it’s how they blow off stress. Men tend to use a sense of humour—or do it through aggression, which I don’t think is right. One concession to my female side is that I would never be aggressive, except in extreme situations. —Www.oprah.com