When he tells you to quit your job…

It’s certainly a good feeling; leaving your home every day for your work place. It’s an even greater feeling that, as a woman, you can stand on your own financially.

Happy as you may be, your man doesn’t feel you should work. Much as the two of you are able to balance and help each other financially, he feels the woman’s place is in the home.

And so angered by the fact that you work, he wakes up one day and tells you to quit the job. Obviously, you will be shocked because quitting means trouble. Not only will you see your sense of independence crumbling and all your hard work falling with it.

Before marriage, Sara Chizimba used to work as a trade agent, but a year after her marriage, she got the surprise of her life when her husband told her to stop working. According to the mother of two, she had no choice but to oblige.

“It’s not good to be stopped from working. I mean it took the nkhoswes to intervene for him to let me start all over and begin to look for a job. But I can tell you that while I was home, I suffered.

“By staying home and taking care of the children, it meant that I could not afford to buy anything, including the cheapest commodity-salt. Everything he had to provide, but it was not easy,” she says.

According to her, when a woman is working, they are able to look after themselves and buy some products which a husband can not necessarily buy.

“For instance, how many times could I ask my husband for make-up? He would ask me, where are you going that you need to look good? I tell you the three years I spent at home were the worst. Of course, my children brought in some lighter moments, but staying home is no fun for someone who is used to working,” she says.

Marriage counselor Constance Masamba says most men who ask their wives to stop working are insecure and have dirty minds.

Masamba says men should not be left scot-free for telling their wives to stop working.

She says: “The economy is bad and we need to work as a family. If a man persists on telling their wives to quit working, they should be reported to the ankhoswe. Some can be told to quit because of sickness, which is understandable. But other reasons are purely out of ill motive.

“Why should he go to the office but not you? Men should know that women are equal beings and, therefore, have a right to work. What do they want to achieve by telling a wife to stay in a confined area? They should be ashamed.”

According to her, most of these men lead a wondering life and the only way they can keep such a life a secret is to stop the woman from working.

“Men who do this basically want to confine their wives in a certain place. Women must not let this happen. As a family we need to help each other balance the home. Leaving all this to one person is not healthy,” she advises.