When religion murders true love

They loved each other. Yes, when they looked into each other’s eyes they realised that they were created for each other. Their love journey was so smooth that they could see themselves becoming a husband and a wife enjoying their romantic togetherness under one roof.

They thought the differences in their religious backgrounds would spice up their bedroom chit-chats as they would share same ideas and ideologies.

However, religion turned out to be an unmovable blockage on their way to marriage.

“I fell in love with a woman of my heart when I was studying at The Polytechnic. She had all the qualities I want in a woman. She was educated, loving, hardworking and caring. However, we failed to get married because we belonged to different religions. Her religion did not allow her to follow mine,” complains Akim (not his real name).

Akim’s story just reveals how religion sometimes betrays true lovers. Indeed, this also shows that sometimes it is not only lack of love that can prevent two people to marry, but religion can also play a major role in suffocating the marriage dream.

Akim adds that at first he regarded religion as a minor issue which had even nothing to do with love life.

Ellen Mtimaukanena from Traditional Authority Nthondo in Ntchisi says it is wrong for people to consider religion when they fall in love.

Mtimaukanena explains: “We should not attach religion to love because these are different things. People should go ahead to marry despite being members of different religions. It should be up to them to follow another’s religion or not. Religion is a minor issue in as far as true love is concerned. Thus, I laugh when I see people taking religion seriously when it comes to marriage.”

Currently, Akim has not found another love because he believes religion robbed him of the woman of his life, therefore, the same religion should provide him with a good replacement.

“When I fell in love with that woman, I thanked God because she possessed all the qualities I look for in a good woman. But when we failed to get married because her pastor and parents said we belonged to different religions, I expected God to give me a suitable replacement. I have prayed for two years now for another good woman, but to no avail. I have tried to look around within my church but I cannot trust the women I interact with there,” says Akim.

Sheikh Dinala Chabulika of Islamic Information Bureau says a couple should belong to same religion to avoid confusion in marriage.

“There will be confusion in the marriage if the couple belongs to different religions. Therefore, there must be one religion in marriage,” says Chabulika.

With Chabulika’s views, Akim wonders whether one should consider religion before true love in the potential marriage partner.

“I wonder whether this means I should marry a person of my religion even if such person has no true love for me. I’m confused. I may choose not to fall in love again because religion has confused me on the issue of a person to marry. All these religions worship one God so why should we fail to marry people of other religions?” Akim wonders.

Reverend Daniel Mateyu of Malawi Assemblies of God at Bembeke in Dedza says although there is nothing wrong with falling in love with a person of another religion, it is important to know about the consequences of such a decision.

He says some of the challenges that people may face if they marry somebody of a different religion is that there will be conflict because of differences in religious beliefs.

“For example, if my religion or church says we will go to heaven after death, but my loved one’s religion or church says people will be  right here on earth after death, it means there will be a war of religion in that house,” Reverend Mateyu says .

He adds that, as a man of God, he enlightens those wishing to marry to weigh the consequences of their decision.

“Of course, it is not the role of the church to judge on this issue because this is a personal issue. As the church, we just come in to provide information on their decision,” Mateyu adds. n