When you keep failing

Everyone has experienced those moments, when you feel you are a total failure. When life gives you lemons—and there’s no lemonade squeezer handy. In this article, Cheu Mita explores how you can overcome such feelings of failure.

 

The following is a personal story shared on Oprah.com:

Recently, I failed to win a fellowship that would have underwritten two years of creative bliss. I would have been able to write that novel and not worry about the mortgage or the repairs that in my ramshackle old house I’ve come to expect. The letter was apologetic and brief. I wanted to crawl under a rock. I wallowed. I blamed. I bought new shoes.

After a decent amount of time spent feeling extremely sorry for myself, I started to sort out what I could salvage. I still wanted to write my book, and suddenly it was clear that my future should not rest on the decision of an anonymous panel of judges. What I need to do, I thought, is figure out some other method of accomplishing the same goal, even if that required making a way out of what, at the moment, felt like no way at all.

So what steps do you take? Lifeoptimizer.org has the following suggestions for you to overcome your failure.

 

. Rise up and don’t regret: you have spent your time wisely. When we fail, we might be tempted to think that we have wasted our time and regret it. But that’s should not be the case. The fact that you have done something is much better than doing nothing. Many people who despise persons who fail never do anything themselves. . . . Rise up and move on: The regret lies not in doing, but in not doing. Understand that failure is there to bring you wisdom. Failure is there not without a reason. It’s there to give you the wisdom you need to succeed. Each failure you encounter increases your wisdom and brings you one step closer to success. If you have this mindset, you will see failure differently. You will see each failure as an opportunity to learn.

. Learn as much as possible from the failure:

While failure brings you wisdom, how much wisdom you will get depends entirely on your ability to harvest it. So don’t waste the opportunity to learn; harvest wisdom as much as possible from the failure.

. Don’t give up; maybe you are only one step away from success. The thought of giving up is tempting, especially when we have failed over and over again. But who knows that maybe you are only one step away from success? Will you waste the long journey you have passed when you are already so close to your destination?

. Maintain your enthusiasm: Not only you should keep on trying, you should also do it with the same level of enthusiasm as when you first began. Otherwise, your subsequent effort will have less and less power.

. Keep dreaming big dreams: Always have your destination in mind; keep dreaming your big dreams. Spend time to visualise them and let the dreams energise you. To overcome all the obstacles you encounter, you always need a greater why, and that why is provided by your dreams.

.  Keep your confidence in yourself: Of course, you need to put a lot of effort and learn as much as possible from the failure, but you have the ability to make your dream come true. Many people who achieve great undertakings have no special trait. They are just ordinary people with extraordinary attitude.

Our cover woman this week Dr Mary Shawa also adds to the litany her own strategy for failure.

“Life has taught me to accept situations, listen to others and try to do my best in everything that I do. I have learned that problems are not the end of everything and that God does not make mistakes, you just need to accept whatever comes towards you because it is God’s plan,” she says.