We are in Blantyre, probably the cleanest but poorest city in Malawi and, of course, the slowest city in the world. Blantyre is the home of GOAT TV, whose shoddy services have irked so many subscribers that they have decided to migrate to Mzukuzuku Satellite TV and other TV service providers. GOAT TV does not listen or hearken to any complaints from clients. One day, subscribers from Chilomoni, Blantyre, planned to march to the office of GOAT TV in Namiwawasa to protest the poor quality of service in their area. What stopped them from executing that action, nobody can tell. However, GOAT TV should be assured that Chilomoni will one sunny morning descend on that small office unless service improves in the whole country.
Blantyre also used to be the home to Hairtail, a company which has been falsely advertising promotions that are never implemented. Currently, Hairtail is marketing the Hightail mobile phone and cheating potential clients that it is offering some airtime worth K10 000. Well, ask anybody who has bought the Hightail 403 mobile phone if he or she has received that airtime. At least we are real sure about ourselves. Since we bought the Hightail mobile phone in May this year, we have received no airtime, no apology and no promise that we will one day receive the K10 000.
If Hairtail has sold 1 000 units of the Hightail 403 mobile phone, it has made K10 million through false advertising. We don’t need to be told that we have been swindled. Of course, the Competition and Fair Trading Commission (CFTC) cannot see this because nobody has gone there to complain. CFTC expects people to complain that they are being swindled in broad daylight. Even if the commission hears herbalists making false claims about cures for incurable diseases or provision of charms to win back runaway lovers, win Cashgate court cases, or enlarge this and that critical part of the human body, the commission will not act until someone has complained formally.
We are in Blantyre to plan an armed campaign against poor service providers such as Hairtail, Kabula Water Services, Tiwakolore Networks, the International Bank of Malawi and many other service providers who take us for granted because they believe Malawians take time to react.
We will march whether John Kapitao joins us or not. We will be armed whether the police like it or not.
“What will comprise our armoury?” Asked Abiti Joyce Befu, MG 66, leader of the campaign by virtue of her position as leader of our delegation.
Answered Mzee Native Authority Mandela: “We will sing every day until services improve. We will drum every evening until GOAT TV improves its service to all parts of Blantyre. We will vuvuzela day and night until Hairtail and other swindlers stop running false adverts. We will horn and bang anything that can make noise until the media stops accepting false adverts. We will cry, shout and write until marketers and advertising agencies come up with a code of ethics and standards to regulate. We talk and talk and talk until the CFTC, John Kapitao and his Consumed Organisation of Malawi (Coma) and others that claim to fight for human rights change and start being proactive.”
“Presently, who polices marketers and advertising agencies or handlers? At least, journalists have a code of ethics and professional standards to guide their performance, lawyers discipline each other through their society, town planners, construction engineers, even thieves do some self-regulation” MG 66 asked again.
“Did you say journalists have what?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe LePoisson, SC (RTD), asked mockingly.
“A code of ethics and professional standards,” Abiti answered, innocently.
“And why does this wanton defamation of innocent people go unpunished?”
“We will discuss that after the current campaign against poor service provision in Malawi,” Abiti concluded presidentially.
