Why do women let themselves go after saying ‘I do’?

Men complain that their wives let themselves go right after they tie the knot. They stop taking care of their bodies and looks and become a totally different person. What causes this? Mwereti Kanjo finds out?

Without being rude, most women will move from gorgeous, outgoing and fun to scruffy, introverted and quite boring after becoming a ‘Mrs’. Maybe the underlining thought is why you would need more bait when you’ve already got the fish on the hook.

Yet it is the same women who spend sleepless nights wondering why their husbands do not show interest in them anymore.

Even though your hubby might tell you that he loves you just the way you are; don’t be fooled because he might be frustrated with how you look. No man wants to walk around with a wife that looks like his mother! What causes this laxity and how do you prevent this from happening to you?

Memory Manjombe, a newspaper columnist, says the answer to this is communication. It might sound simple and irrelevant but take some time to ask your husband what he would love you to look like. There is no obvious answer to this; he must tell you what he wants.

Manjombe says, as much as the woman is to blame, the man too plays a part. She says most men, especially in Malawi, are against their wives working. This leads them to just sit at home and wait for the month end so that they can be given money.

“It happens a lot. It is quite common for a woman to forget herself all together. But it also has to do with status. Women will want to fit in the environment because they have moved from that single life where they made their own decisions to a life that is shared with the husband.

“The biggest problem I have seen is that women do not see the need to take care of themselves when they have the man in the house,” Manjomba points out.

Commenting on the same, Pastor Towera Masiku says after marriage, a woman has moved from being single, to wife and eventually mother. She, therefore, has added responsibilities, especially if the woman is coming from a typical traditional set up. She runs the home, takes care of the children, makes sure that her husband has eaten, cleans, washes up and so many other things.  In doing all this, a woman puts herself last and ends up losing herself in the process.

However, Masiku says all this can be resolved with time management. To keep up, a wife must involve her husband in doing some of the things around the home like chopping tomatoes when cooking. This will allow you to speed up things and have some time just for you.

Next week, we will explore how you can look good and feel super, even after tying the knot and having more than your fare share of babies!