I’m not sure you have the guts to publish this story, but allow me still to express myself on what I see as a fundamental hatred against women on your part.
In every response to problems presented to you, you exhibit an underlying hatred for women, most times berating and scolding them and even insulting their dignity.
From your tone, one can tell that you have an axe to grind with women, and one is inclined to believe that it is, actually, the motivation behind this column.
I have read all your columns since inception and I pity the women that you have victimised with your callousness and insensitivity.
You are heartless and I tend to think that some of your deep-rooted resentment is a result of some heartbreak that you suffered at the hands of a woman.
And my plea to you is that you should bear in mind that when these women write to you, they are really troubled and seek comfort from you (although all they get in return is cold-blooded rebuke).
I just pray that these women would stop writing to you so that you will not have anything to feed your ego on.
Agnes, Chitedze, Lilongwe
For the record, I love women. Very much so; otherwise, how would I have been married to five different women? (Six, if you count make a Junior with whom I shared an intimate six weeks of adulterated fun somewhere at Kaya Mawa off Likoma Island. Ooooh! Memories).
Anyway, what I am trying to stress here, my dear Agnes, is that I am no woman-hater.
The problem with you and those who think like you is that you want me to turn into soother or a pillow to cry on. I am neither of these.
I am no Dr Phil. I am Big Man Wamkulu.
I stated from the beginning that I have no time for caressing anyone’s egos or stroking their broken hearts.
I tell it like it is and I will not apologise for shooting from the hip.
If you have issues with the way I tell the truth, then you can run to your friends who will offer you a shoulder to cry on and assure you that everything will be okay (although we all know that things will not be okay).
I do not offer an alternative. I offer the only alternative.
Women do not like to be told the truth. They want to be assured with lies and more lies.
Which is why many of you will stick to an abusive marriage for life. Or stick around while your man cheats on you. You are not brave enough to stick your head out and face life.
And men seem to sense this lack of nerve and audacity; hence, they will abuse you at will, knowing you are going nowhere.
And, even in the rare instances when the man is good to them, (a few good men like me) women do not seem to know how to handle him, often times treating him like a piece of dirty rag on the doorstep.
Instead of asking seasoned advisers like me and Thom (yes, that one Thom who bagged a hat-trick in Lilongwe), women will rush to Facebook forums like Barnyard and Tips for Women for advice.
What advice can you honestly get from bitter women whose marriages failed ages ago? Advice about men from Barnyard? Honestly, Agnes?
Let me break it down to you my sister.
Contrary to what the women’s groups will tell you, the greatest need of a man is not sex (he can get that from a prostitute at Chigwirizano, if he is not a born again. Or sometimes, if he is). Neither is it food (he can get that from a good restaurant).
A man’s greatest need is respect. Just that.
So, when I take my time every Sunday to talk some home truths with my sisters, it is not out of hate. It is actually out of love. Which is why I stick to telling them the truth.
Have a blessed Sunday, my sister,
Big Man Wamkulu.