Mapuya: My Lord, we at the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) have been called names for determinedly looking at ways of thwarting the registration of the Unified Transgressors Mob (UTM) bus company, led by Dr Sauli Cloud, who also happens to be my deputy president in this Republic of Nyasaland.
But I were left with no choice but to derail efforts to register the movement because this stubborn boy, Sauli, wants me to lose the political sway I hold over the country, especially in the Southern Province, which is my stronghold.
Consequently, I had to even sacrifice my barrister Tchalo by forcing him to resign after the lower court embarrassingly threw out application after application to stop registration of Sauli’s company on two occasions and the third attempt done when Tchalo was out of the way was not even successful.
My Lord, why do we want this bus company not to be registered on the roads of Nyasaland? Well, I have invested a lot in this boy and yet he wants to destabilise the blue camp with his own movement.
In principle, we cannot allow somebody we rescued from the business of selling airtime to be propagating that he is the next best thing that can bring political salvation to Nyasaland.
In short, I gave Sauli the platform to raise his profile and now he wants to take the shine out me while I am still alive and yet he is still very part of this government. My Lord, I don’t think that is fair.
My Lord, to say the truth Sauli’s movement has caused a political tremor of the high magnitude and it has rocked the foundation of PDP and, I am sure that of Lazaro’s Cockerels, to the core.
His politburo consists of people who know PDP inside-out and they are they type who can somewhat split votes, something I am not looking forward to seeing.
My Lord, your court has the power to register or deregister such entities and of course we have to provide grounds that would compel you My Lord to grant us our wish to stop the movement from growing.
As part of grounds, we have a sworn statement from my newly elected minister of Inland Insults Tchalo ‘Tout’ Mashasha who is arguing that allowing movement to ply on the roads of Nyasaland would lead to moral decadence.
As Mashasha’s affidavit shows, most members of UTM are hookers; hence, allowing this movement to operate would lead to the increase in sexually transmitted infections, immorality would become the order of the day while the foundations of families upon which nations and societies are built would also be shaken because of the harlots that will fill every facet of society.
We don’t care about insulting the modesty of women in PDP because we speak crudely about issues as long as it pleases us.
My Lord, religion is bound to be under threat if you register this movement because, as the Minister of Inland Insults has submitted, most passengers of this UTM bus are bound to become Satanists. Who would want to encourage Satanism and thievery?
Since Nyasaland is a God-fearing nation, we, therefore, want to maintain that status quo as the Bible says ‘thieves, harlots and evil-makers (Satanists) will not inherit the kingdom of God’, why allow a movement that will lead the country to destruction? I rest my case.
Judge Mbadwa: There is nothing from the affidavit of Mshasha and from your submission Mapuya that show that UTM is a confederation of harlots, thieves and Satanists. Even if this were true, who said harlots are not supposed to participate in politics? This submission is derived from irrational fears of a party that has lost touch with reality. And on that basis this application is also being thrown out.
