How do I blind my nosy wife?

Dear BMW

I am married and turned 30 last month. On my birthday, I met this hot mama. Okay, she is 48, but you would never guess it. Her body is out of this world, I swear. In case you have doubts, here is a picture; has long hair, light skin, onion booty, pointed boobs and curves that make men wobble at their knees.

My hot mama is a goddess, an angel, she might have fallen from the heavens. The most amazing thing is that she is mature, intelligent, independent and so good in bed, it drives me crazy.

But Biggie the problem is my nosy wife, who I fear might bust us. How do I keep her off from discovering the affair?

Please I can’t lose my hot mama, help!

SPB, via

WhatsApp, Lilongwe

Dearest SPB,

I feel for you young man. Yours truly is speechless with the description of your hot mama. She is hot and should be sweet in bed, indeed, I can only imagine. The Holy scriptures have a line or two about the importance of a woman.

It says: “He who finds a woman, finds a good thing.”

Young man, you have found a good thing. It would, therefore, be such a tragedy if your young and nosy wife found out you are sleeping with an older woman, who is a honey pot which is sweeter than hers and started causing chaos.

I think you have a right to continue enjoying what you have found, chotola salanda!

But here’s the thing, my boy, keeping an MG2 or a relationship such as yours is not an easy thing. This I know is not an easy territory for many men. Let me warn you, you do not know the consequences of the disaster you are courting with this senior.

My experience and conscience show me this hot mama of yours, for whatever good she is to you, holds the ace in your love game. Sooner or later, she will start controlling your life the way kids control the remote when an adventurous cartoon is beaming on the TV.

You are younger than her and, most definitely, she will come telling you to spend lesser time with your wife. That is the doom that awaits you.

For many young men, bedding older women is not just about love or lust and warm feelings. It is also an income generating activity, which most often than not, leads to heavy blackmail. Watch your steps young man and zip up.

You are locked in your lust for steamy beds and dough—money. You should have been the first person to know that if your wife does not satisfy you, basically it is because you don’t know how to get her into the game. By your falling for an older woman, just because she drives you wild in bed, it shows you are not in control of your sex life.

Even more embarrassing will be the time you will realise that your wife is more dissatisfied with your bed game and that she is shagging another man. There, you will not have a love equilateral triangle; it will be an unfortunate love trapezium, where you will be the short lines.

Go back to your young wife!

BMW

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!