I am worried, confused over her

BMW,

First, l must apologise for seeking your wisdom so late at night. This happened since I work odd hours most of the time.

Big, I feel betrayed by a lady I have been seeing for over two years.

Here is my problem. This lady told me she had missed her menstruation period, but after some weeks there was no sign of pregnancy.

A couple of months later she started telling me ndikufuna mwana. Then, I let it happen without knowing the lady was seeing another man.

Since I hacked her smartphone, I was able to get photographs of the lady and another man having a wonderful time together.

Biggie, I burned with anger and confronted her and she apologized. So, I forgave her, hoping to go for a DNA to determine the father of the baby.

Not knowing that the relationship between my lady and the other man was still on because I also hacked conversations and photographs they took in a room.

Right away, I called her to ask where she was. She lied to me that she was at her home, but I told her that she was in a room with a guy.

At this point, Big, I told her that I am no longer responsible for her pregnancy.

Big, I don’t know whether denying the responsibility of the pregnancy is the way to go.

Please, help me Big,

Worried lover,

Blantyre.

Worried Lover,

Why do you think you are worried? I don’t think you have a problem to worry about, save for the space up your head where normal human beings have a brain.

You are not worried, as far as I am concerned. If you are to spare yourself worries in this world, these days, the rule of thumb is never to touch anybody else’s phone, let alone your lover.

What gain do you get by going through the conversation of your loved one? Maybe you don’t know, phones have become people’s minds and souls. If you browse through conversations in phones not your own, you are as mean as that next person who can follow everyone else anywhere just to check on what they hear and what they say.

Get a life.

But the worst point comes where you think you can deceive me, Biggie, with your nonsense. What do you mean by hacking? Do you know what hacking is? Or, you are like that little boy across my street who learned whistling yesterday and he is all over the place whistling like nobody’s business.

You learned the word yesterday and you think Biggie can be taken for a ride that you can hack your girlfriend’s phone! I wasn’t born yesterday that you can fool me that you know one or two things about hacking. You should have just put it plainly that you got her phone and browsed through. Which is a thing I discourage.

And, you delve into a thing you are not even sure of: DNA. Do you know where it is done in Malawi? Do you know what it takes for it to be conducted? Do you know how much it costs?

Out of brotherly love, I will tell you, stop wasting your time. Stop wasting my ink. In the first place, how do you deny a pregnancy that is not yours? All indications are clear that you are so dumb that another man can easily coax your woman to bed.

By the way, since I have your number, I am contacting Macra because you are infringing on her rights by intruding into her private space. Once again, get a life my dear worried lover.

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!